Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

“Men are more moral than they think and far more immoral than they can imagine.”

- Sigmund Freud

 

After three days in Bangkok I was bouncing off the walls of my budget hotel (sans pool, restaurant or any ammenities worth mentioning) and had to make a decision on what to do with the last few days of my trip.  Back in December and January when I was planning the trip I had considered catching a flight out to the Philippines for three days before heading back to Hong Kong, but the only reasonably priced flight with Cebu Pacific Air filled up before I could buy a ticket.  I also had the option of heading back to Hong Kong a few days early, but that would have been at great expense as I would have had to buy another $100 CDN ticket from AirAsia and incur the high cost of Hong Kong hotels.  My last option, which at first seemed like the worst option I had, ended up being my only choice but worked out very well for me – I’d head back to Pattaya, one of the sleaziest cities in Thailand.

Despite the fact that Pattaya is basically a city that has a central core that resembles both Soi Cowboy and the Nana Entertainment Plaza of Bangkok (albeit at a much larger scale), and that most of the sex tourists who visit Thailand end up in Pattaya, it did have some things going for it which convinced me to return for a brief visit.  Despite Bangkok being the capital of the Thailand, Pattaya is home to some excellent shopping options – in fact, it was in Pattaya last April at the Mike Shopping Mall where I found the $8 CDN Lacoste polos that so closely resemble the real thing.  In addition to the already decent shopping options of Pattaya, the CentralFestival mega mall had also just opened a few months prior to add even more options for shopaholic farangs.

In addition to shopping, Pattaya is home to Maharaja Tailors where I purchased a spectacular grey suit and customer tailored shirt back in April for less than $200 CDN.  I figured it would be a great opportunity to head back and get myself another few suits and some custom tailored shirts for a very competitive price.  Lastly, I wanted to spend a day at Koh Lan island which was only a 30 minute boat ride from Pattaya.  Koh Lan was a coral island that I didn’ t get a chance to see the last time I was in Pattaya.

Deciding to go to Pattaya was the hardest part – getting there was easy.  In the early afternoon, after having checked out of my hotel on Sukhumvit Road, I took the BTS Skytrain down to Ekamai Station and then headed over to the bus terminal.  A one-way 1st class ticket to Pattaya was only 113 baht (around $4 CDN) and the travel time between the two cities was a mere 2 hours.  Since I hadn’t had lunch, I also picked up some snacks at the bus terminal including a pair of sweet-tasting buns that had an added surprise – a mini hot dog baked into the middle of them.  Ah, the Thais and their weird foods.

Having decided to stay in Pattaya a few days prior, I had jumped on the Internet and made hotel reservations ahead of time.  I figured it would be my last 2-3 days in Thailand, so I might as well stay somewhere a little fancier than where I was staying in Bangkok.  For about $50 CDN a night I managed to find a condotel (hotel-condo combo) right near all the shopping malls and the beach with a rooftop pool and had breakfast included in the room rate.  While the room wasn’t all that fancy, it was certainly worth the money and the added amenities proved to be worth the extra money (relaxing by a pool was exactly what I needed at the end of my trip).

By the time I got into Pattaya and was settled at my hotel it was mid-day so I immediately headed over to Marharaja Tailors where I was greeted by Sarit, the Indian tailor who proved to be so helpful in making my last suit I bought in Pattaya.  I was pretty impressed that he remembered who I was when I walked in, but then again I had him make me a suit that was similar to the style and colour of a picture of the suit Tom Cruise wore in the movie Collateral, so I guess I was a somewhat memorable (read: strange) customer.  I told him I was looking to grab two more suits and thre tailored shirts, so he offered me them the same prices I paid last April less a 600 baht (around $20 CDN) discount since I was buying twice as many articles as I was the last time I was there.  The total damages came to 11,000 baht (around $400 CDN) for two tailored suits and three tailored shirts.  I had the initial measurements done (happy to find out I had lost some room in the waist and hips!) and was told by Sarit to return around 9:00p.m. to do an initial fitting.

After visiting Maharaja Tailors I popped into a small bar (that served food as well) along Beach Road and ordered a beer as well as some deep-fried strips of pork that I’d seen around before in Thailand which looked pretty tasty.  One of the ladies working at the bar convinced me to try it with some Thai chili sauce (it came in a Heinz bottle, so I’m pretty sure they manufacture it somewhere over in Thailand) and I was blown away by it; orange in colour and a little less thick than ketchup, but just as (if not more) tasty as Frank’s Hot Sauce.

After my fried pork snack I headed back to the hotel and hit up the pool for an hour or so before retreating to my room for a power nap.  Knowing I had to be back up at Maharaja Tailors for 9:00p.m. I actually set my alarm just to be safe.  Everything worked out as planned, and I was back there for 9:00p.m. to do an initial fitting – a fabric “shell” of what would make up the suit jacket needed to be tried on to determine the jacket length and where to place the buttons.  It only took around 15 minutes, after which Sarit told me he would usually have the suit ready for a final fitting the next evening, but seeing as how both he and the co-owner of the shop had wives who had both given birth that day, he would be closing down the next day but back open with the suit completed the day after that.  I congratulated him on his new addition to the family and agreed to return in two days time to do the final fitting of my new suits.

I headed back down towards my hotel and checked out a few of the merchant stalls along Beach Road but didn’t buy anything – I was saving myself for the following day’s shopping extravaganza after my visit to Koh Larn.  But I did go to a restaurant called The Pizza Company (which can be found all over South-East Asia) where they were having a buy one medium pizza get the second free, so like the piggy I am I picked up two pizzas (note that their medium over there isn’t much bigger than a personal sized pizza here) and headed back to my room to watch movies and The Deadliest Catch on The Discovery Channel before heading to bed.

Back Into the Belly of the Beast

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

- Nelson Mandela

 

Having landed after 10:00p.m. and still having to make my way through Suvarnabhumi airport to find my luggage, I figured it would be best if I splurged for a cab instead of relying on Bangkok public trasit that late at night.  Even with reduced traffic at that time, it still took about a half hour to get from the airport to my hotel, and I wasn’t checked in and unpacked until around midnight.  I was pretty hungry, so I walked a few blocks to a Burger King and grabbed myself a double bacon cheeseburger and vanilla milkshake to end the night with a delicious case of heartburn.

The next morning (Sunday) I woke up early to make sure I’d have a full day for the Chatuchak (sometimes called Jatujak by the Thais) weekend market in the north of Bangkok.  It’s an absolutely massive fair grounds that is reserved every weekend for local vendors to set up shop and hock their wares to the locals and tourists alike.  Goods ranging from hand-crafted Thai souvenirs to factory manufactured textiles, as well as various Thai foods and spices, all can be had for some of the best prices I saw in all of Thailand.  Unfortunately for me, I woke up to the first case of bad weather (rain) I had experienced for the entire trip, and there was really nothing to do but wait it out at the hotel.

Once the rain finally passed, it was close to lunch time.  I made my way down to Asoke, the station after Nana on the BTS Skytrain line, and headed underground to ride the Bangkok Subway System for the first time ever.  I really wasn’t much different than the BTS Skytrain in form and function, the only differences being that it was underground and that getting to Chatuchak was also cheaper than the BTS Skytrain by 5 baht.  Like most subways, the ride was pretty uneventful since there isn’t much scenery underground.

Once I reached Chatuchak I got right down to business – no wandering through the market isles and gawking at the various bargains to be had for me.  I basically bee-lined through each isle of the marketplace, only stopping to check out items that caught my fancy.  Unfortunately, while Chatuchak had many more stalls and goods for sale than another other marketplace I had visited in Thailand, it was all still “same same” (i.e. everyone was selling the same thing).  Other than a few small knick-knacks, I really didn’t find anything worthwhile yet managed to burn a whole afternoon examining all the stalls filled with things I didn’t want.  I did find a pair of Adidas casual shoes I would have liked to buy, and it would have been a good deal too, but they didn’t have any pairs in my size left.  Yet another downside to Asian markets – limited inventory.

That night I found myself wanting to hit the town, but not really knowing where to go.  I had already caught a movie the last time I was in Bangkok and didn’t really feel up to catching another, so I took a stroll over to Soi Cowboy.  Soi Cowboy is one of the notorious nightlife areas in Bangkok, located near Asoke station on the BTS Skytrain line along Sukhumvit Road.  Walking down Soi Cowboy, you’ll find various drinking establishments on either side of you staffed by Thai women who cry out “hey farang (foreigner)!”, or “hey (insert the colour of your shirt here) shirt!” in an attempt to lure you inside.  Half way down the street I gave into the catcalls and popped into a bar (called “Cowboys” no less), but left before I could even order a beer due to the overly physically friendly nature of the bar staff there.  At the end of the street was an Irish pub that probably had a no-hassle policy, as I was not catcalled nor was I groped there and was able to enjoy a pint of Kronenbourg 1664 in peace while attempting to understand some highlights from an East Indies cricket tournament on their big screen TV.

After that I made my way over to Nana Entertainment Plaza, the other notorious nightlife locale, also located just off Sukhumvit Road but closer to the Nana BTS Skytrain stop (also where Gullivers and my hotel were located).  Nana Entertainment Plaza is a bit different from Soi Cowboy as it isn’t a street but a giant square with three levels of small bars, and some open air beer bars located in the centre.  But really it’s another case of “same same”, as you walk around the plaza while bar staff cry out to you in an attempt to convince you that their bar is better than the competing bars they are surrounded by.  I ended up going up to AngelWitch, a bar I’d been to the last time I visited Bangkok, which features exotic Cirque du Solei styled dance routines and high priced beers to match.  I stuck around for one beer (worked out to about $5 CDN) before I realized that all of the skits / routines I was seeing were exactly the same as the ones I saw back in April of last year.

Tiring of the bar scene, but not yet wanting to return to my room at my hotel, I headed over to Bully’s pub on Sukhumvit Road.  Bully’s was a pub that Mike and I had frequented a few times while staying in Bangkok last April, and while the food wasn’t anything spectacular, they did have a good selection of beers and pool tables to keep you entertained.  I ended up playing a round of pool against one of the female employees, and as expected I was schooled in the fine arts of billiards.  It would seem that Thai girls who work at bars have nothing better to do than play pool with farangs, all improving their trick shot skills to the point of being world class champions.  Two beers and two more losses at the pool tables later, and I was ready to give up on my dignity and head back to my hotel for the night.

I slept in on day three in Bangkok, but it wasn’t too big a deal as my only plans were to take one last pass through the major downtown shopping centres including CentralWorld, Siam Paragon, Siam Centre, and MBK mall.  This ended up taking up another one of my afternoons, and once again I had to deal with less than perfect weather – as I walked back to the Siam BTS Skytrain stop from MBK mall the heavens opened up once more and poured down rain for a good 20 – 30 minutes.  It’s intersting to note that when the rain comes down hard like that, most Thais run for cover and just wait it out before getting back to whatever business they were conducting before the rain.

A little bit soggy from the weather, I was back at the hotel by around 6:00p.m. and decided to have a short power nap… but it ended up being one of those 4 hour power-naps that I enjoyed on several occasions during my trip.  When I woke up around 10:00p.m. I was absolutely ravenous, so I headed back over to Gullivers and had myself some Thai curry and rice as well as some baked salmon.  After that I hit the pool tables at once more, actually winning my first game against a European fellow who didn’t speak a lick of English (I think he was either German or Russian?).  After that, one of the Thai girls working at Gullivers stepped in, and once again my pool career came to a quick and painful end.  After that I headed out to an Internet cafe, did a little work on the blog, and then headed back to the hotel to catch some more z’s as I had plans to get myself some new suits the next day.

Bye-bye, Chiang Mai!

“Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane,
don’t know when I’ll be back again.
Oh babe, I hate to go.”

- John Denver

 

I knew my last day in Chiang Mai would be a busy one – I had planned to try to hit up at least one of the big temples (Doi Suthep) with Kelly’s help (since she had a car and all), and also finish up the shopping spree I had started the night earlier.  But it wouldn’t be that simple – Kelly said she wouldn’t be free until the afternoon, and most stalls in the night market didn’t open up until 6:00p.m. or later.  I had bought myself a late (3:00p.m.) checkout for an additional 300 baht ($11 CDN), so I figured I could stow my bags at the guesthouse reception, or cram them into the trunk of Kelly’s car.  If everything went to plan, I figured I’d be in good shape.

So, seeing as how I really couldn’t do much in the morning, I decided to lounge by the pool once again – Blair loves his lazy time.  I also went for another walk through the old city to try to see as much as I could before I had to go, and this time around I actually found the Three Kings Memorial.  Unfortunately for me, it was less than majestic.

After a green curry and white rice lunch at a small restaurant by the Thaepae gate, I grabbed yet another watermelon smoothie (they’re SOOOOOO good!) and headed back to the guesthouse to give Kelly a shout.  Unfortunately for me, it turned out that Kelly’s morning obligation was pushed back to the afternoon, so I had to scrap my plans to go and check out Doi Suthep.  I actually wasn’t too disappointed though – it’s good to have something to do if I ever make my way back to Chiang Mai, and something tells me that I will one day.  And since my flight wasn’t until 9:30p.m. that day, Kelly suggested we do dinner around 6:00p.m. that night and then she’d give me a lift to the airport – how could I say no?

So instead of temple visits, I figured I’d work the blog once again and then pop into Number One bar one last time to say goodbye.  If my loyalty to some random bar in some far away town seems suspect to anyone, I should mention that the second time I visited the bar I mentioned to Ying that I had never had mango sticky rice before, so she actually went and picked some up for me and refused to let me pay her back.  I can’t say I was wild about the mango sticky rice, but it was a very nice gesture.

After my last Leffe at Number One bar, I headed back to the guesthouse.  While I was heading in, a mid-40′s redheaded woman practically shouted at me that I shouldn’t think about renting a motorbike unless I learned how to drive it first.  I found it pretty odd, so I just smiled and nodded and kept on heading towards my room.  Then I heard the Thai staff go mental, which made me turn around back to the redheaded lady to see what was up.

Turns out she had rented a moto to do a scenic tour of Chiang Mai on her last day, but seeing as how she had no motorcycle driving experience, she somehow managed to crash the bike into a bunch of other parked bikes and did a somersault over the handlebars.  I hadn’t noticed when she spoke to me because her right shoulder blade was pointing away from me, but she had managed to pop her collarbone up through her skin to the point that it was practically touching her cheek.  Her entire right shoulder was also a very dark shade of purple, but surprisingly there was no torn skin or blood anywhere to be seen.

The Thai staff, who seemed to know her well (I’d later find out she had been staying at the guesthouse for two months), immediately called an ambulance.  I decided to stay and speak with her because she was obviously in shock; she was practically yelling everything she was saying and going on about random things that made very little sense.  She even ordered a big bottle of Chang beer, though her logic ended up making a lot of sense to me – she figured her injury would start hurting like a sonavabitch any minute, and the beer would help dull the pain.  I ran up to my room and grabbed her a handful of ibuprofen even though I figured it wouldn’t help much… I just hope booze and ibuprofen isn’t too bad of a combination.

After that fiasco, I made my way up to my room and decided for more pool time to try to relax.  Down at the pool I ended up grabbing a lounge chair beside a very portly Canadian fellow who was in his 50′s (which he later confirmed during our conversation).  I had avoided him up until that point, as he had basically shouted to his friend across the pool that Americans are idiots on the first or second day I was at the guesthouse.  I was kind of embarrassed that he was a Canadian.

After talking to him by the pool though, I realized he wasn’t a totally bad guy.  Turns out he had a lot of medical problems, and had an injection into his spine for some neck pains he was sufferng from.  Unfortunately that injection wasn’t done properly by the doctor and it caused nerve damage that left his right arm without any feeling, and two of the discs in his neck also fused which caused him even more neck pain (and required him to wear a neck brace from time to time).  He ended up getting early retirement from his job, and an additional $1000 CDN a month from the Canadian government for his pains (though he claimed, and I believed him, that he’d give up the $1000 CDN a month any day of the week to not have the pain he had to endure every day).  In a weird way, he reminded me of the guy from Office Space who invented the Jump To Conclusions doormat.

One of the things that I think did change my mind about him was that he told me about his 19-year old son who wasn’t quite smart enough to get the grades to go to university, so he was working construction.  The guy had basically convinced his son to work and do school part-time so he could get into university in the future, and got his son to put $800 CDN a month away in an RRSP now to save for the future (or for early retirement).  I wish I had that sort of discipline when I was younger!
(then again, I got into university right away and started running up a student debt… d’oh)

Just before I called it quits by the pool I told the guy about the lady who had the motorcycle accident.  He was shocked – turns out that him and his friend were talking to her earlier in the day and tried to convince her not to do it because it is so dangerous, but she had been adamant to give it a try.  When he went to go tell his friend about it, I used it as an opportunity to head back up to my room and get changed – I was running low on time to find what I had missed at the night market the night before.

Trying to hunt down what I had missed (Chiang Mai arts and crafts, jade elephants and a jade Buddha necklace, Blair-sized Adidas shoes, etc.) proved to be a nightmare.  Nothing was open yet, so I had to head over to the Thaepae Gate to check out the Sunday market… even though it wasn’t Sunday.  Instead, some food market was set up there but one of the ladies working a stall overheard me asking where if anyone sold jade or shoes and proceded to drag me across the street into the old city.  She took me right up to a bunch of homes and went inside, yelling crazy Thai all the while.  From what I could figure out, the people who lived there must have been night market vendors who she knew and she thought she could get them to dig into their stalls to find what I needed.  Unfortunately she came back empty handed, which was kind of annoying after I had waited there for almost 30 minutes.

Speaking of time, I hadn’t realized what time it was.  At the market near the Thaepae Gate I had asked a Thai fellow what time it was, and he told me it was around 4:45p.m.  I figured I had plenty of time to get back to the guesthouse to meet Kelly for 6:00p.m. and go to dinner.  But while I was waiting for the Thai lady by the houses I noticed it was getting pretty dark for around 5:00p.m. – indeed, it would have been getting dark for 5:00p.m. because it was in fact 6:00p.m. and even later by the time I finished waiting for the Thai lady to try to hunt down my night market requirements.

I ran back to the guesthouse and found that Kelly had left me a note with a map to a restaurant inside the old city along the moat.  I figured I’d walk it, since my guesthouse was along the moat, but it turned out to be quite the walk… a good 15 – 20 minutes.  I don’t think I got to the restaurant until about 6:50p.m. at which point Kelly and Sarah were just finishing up dinner.  I really wasn’t all that hungry, so I just ended up having a drink and then Kelly gave me a lift to the airport.

Despite all the rushing around and missing out on some of the things I wanted to do / see, I still had a pretty good last day in Chiang Mai.  Kelly and Sarah spoke to me about life in Chiang Mai on the way to the airport, which was also good to hear as I think I had monopolized the conversation the previous night at Miguel’s to answer some of the Canadian-related questions Sarah had (and poor Kelly had heard the answers to like 3-4 times in the past two weeks!).  One thing they told me that I thought I’d share – turns out there’s a lot of good (and single) ladies living out in Chiang Mai doing volunteer and / or educational work.  Apparently not a lot of guys head out to Chiang Mai to do that sort of thing, and the ones who do are either a bit on the weird side, or are great guys who are already taken.  So, any of you guys reading this who want a change of pace and want to meet some great gals – head on out to Chiang Mai (creepers and weirdos need not apply – that means you, Nick)!

At the airport I had about a half hour to kill, so I finally cracked open The Lizard Cage, a book my sister gave me to read about Burma.  I kind of wished I had started it earlier, as it might have convinced me to try to travel into Burma for a few days on my trip, but I guess it’s something I’ll save for if (when?) I return to Chiang Mai.  I barely remember boarding the plane, but I do remember that I passed out BEFORE takeoff and didn’t wake up until about 10 minutes before we landed in Bangkok.  I was pretty wiped from my hectic day – who sleeps through a plane taking off without heavy sedation? 
Blair – that’s who!

Shop Till You Drop

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.”

- Bo Derek

 

My second-last day in Chiang Mai was yet another lazy day of vegging out in front of the TV (caught Charlie Wilson’s War) and poolside frivolity.  The only major accomplishment in the morning was heading out for some more Thai breakfast (rice soup) with some more watermelon smoothies (they’re to die for). 

In the afternoon I did a walkabout in search of the Three Kings Memorial in the old city, but without a map I really had no clue where I was going… so like a blind man in an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way around (The Naked Gun?  Leslie Neilsen?  Anyone?  Anyone?). Although I didn’t find the Three Kings Memorial, I did walk around the some of the outer wall & moat of Chiang Mai’s old city and take some snapshots.  Nothing amazing, just proof that I went to Chiang Mai.

Now, I have to confess something I learned about myself on this trip – once I get into lay-by-the-pool mode, all desire to go sightseeing (e.g. Tiger Temple, Elephant Zoo) goes out the window.  But at least I still did Flight of the Gibbon, so I wasn’t a complete waste-of-space while in Chiang Mai.

Other than the walk I took around town, the afternoon was about as uneventful as the morning.  I had a pretty crappy lunch at a Mexican restaurant called El Toro, and popped into an Internet cafe for about an hour to do some blogging.  The evening got a bit more interesting – Kelly offered to pick me up again for dinner with her roommate Sarah, and we ended up going to a different Mexican restaurant called Miguel’s that proved to be 10 times better than my previous Mexican experience.  I ordered the “El Rico” combo, which I think is Spanish for “fat man”… it was a platter with a bean and cheese burrito, a steak taco, and a chicken quesadilla.  The other Kelly who I met at the Irish Pub two nights earlier also made an appearance, and after dinner we made our way to the night market.

Even though I had visited the night market about 4 – 5 times already while in Chiang Mai, I still wasn’t sure exactly what I needed or where I would get it.  I did know that I needed another bag though – my backpack (which converts into a duffel bag and has a detachable “day pack”) was jammed full of stuff – so I picked up a crappy duffel bag (though not as crappy as some of the ones Kelly and I saw) for under $15 CDN.  As predicted, both of the Kelly’s Thai language skills came in handy for negotiating prices on some of the other Thai goods I was checking out, including some silk kimonos and silk sheets that I intend to give away as gifts upon my return to Canada.  I also found a gift for my friend Mike for about $7 CDN (note – I’d see the same item in Bangkok for almost half that, so I guess I got ripped off in Chiang Mai), but I don’t want to say what it is in case he’s reading my blog…

Seeing as how I’m an idiot, I didn’t think ahead to bring a lot of baht with me for the night market, so I only really had enough to buy the duffel bag and the kimonos.  The Kellys and Sarah were about through with the night market, so we headed over to McDonalds where I bought everyone an ice cream cone for helping me out with my shopping extravaganza.  Cones are pretty cost efficient at only 7 baht a piece in Thailand, so the 3 of them ended up costing me about $0.75 CDN – what a generous guy I am!  Kelly then gave me a lift back to my guesthouse where I dropped off the duffel bag, grabbed some more baht, and made my way back into the night market to haggle the night away.

I wanted to grab some Adidas shoes I had seen around town – they were a model I was contemplating buying last year but had passed on in favour of a dressier Aldo casual shoe.  Unfortunately none of the street vendors had any pairs in my size – curses to having oversized feet!  I also wanted to pick up some little arts and crafts trinkets that were made in Chiang Mai, but I had discovered online that mostly everything you can buy in Chiang Mai is manufactured and the vendors just say it was hand-made by Chiang Mai residents.  Bah.

After picking up some of the other things I mentioned earlier, I figured it would be best to just head back to the guesthouse than to head to a bar and have some drinks – there was the outside chance I’d drink too much and forget my stuff at the bar.  Can’t remember what was on TV when I got back, but it kept me entertained for about an hour before I passed out.

The next day was my last day in Chiang Mai and it was pretty crazy… I think I’ll leave it for another post.

Flight of the… Blair

“A lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I’m afraid of widths.”

- Stephen Wright

 

I woke up around 6:00a.m.  It was the big day that I’ve been planning for months – today, despite my discomfort with heights, I’d fly from treetop to treetop in the Thai jungle just outside Chiang Mai.

I’m not going to lie – I was pretty nervous.  Yet at the same time, I felt fairly safe.  I mean, I hadn’t heard of anyone ever falling to their deaths while zip-lining in Thailand… but then again, I never really looked into it.  So I really wasn’t sure what to expect.

I only had time for some toast and a glass of OJ at the guesthouse restaurant before the van arrived to take me and eight other brave souls to the Flight of the Gibbon base camp.  I think the drive was around one hour long, but I was passed out (in true Blair fashion) most of the way there – I was still sleepy from having to wake up so early.

When we got there I was shocked at how cold it was – I had goosebumps.  Up in the mountains the temperature is apparently 4-5 degrees cooler than Chiang Mai, and on top of that it was only 7:00a.m. or so in the morning.  I also noticed how misty it was, which I’m guessing came down from the mountains along with the cold air.

The morning was the worst part of the day – everything seemed so disorganized and it made me even more worried that I’d made a horrible mistake in deciding to do this.  Then they strapped on my harness, and all I can say is that it was a toss up between which was less comfortable – a ladyboy grabbing my junk, or that incredibly snug harness on either side of my junk.

I was teamed up with the people that came in the same van as I did – 4 Chinese tourists, a couple from Sweden, and a German fellow with his Thai wife / girlfriend (uncertain of which).  After getting suited up we all climbed back into the van and they drove us even further up the mountain to the first station where the two instructors, Tiger and Sam, gave us a crash course on zip-lining.  The two most important things I learned were to lean back and lift your legs up, and when they yell “brake!”, boy, you better brake!

This blog really can’t capture how amazing zip-lining is, and even the pictures I took may not do it justice.  It’s really something I’d encourage anyone to do, as long as they’re not deathly afraid of heights (having a bit of fear made it all the more exciting, me thinks).  However, I will admit that after you’ve done it a few times it does lose a bit of its excitement (like anything else in this world).  But that just forces you to be a bit more adventurous when you zip-line across the treetops – Sam was very proficient at zipping across upside down, much to the group’s amusement.

Now, remember what I said about zip-lining not being that great for people who are deathly afraid of heights?  Well, it turns out the Thai wife / girlfriend of the German fellow was.  She seemed to handle the zip-lining and rope bridges well enough, but when we came to a station where they had to lower you down (probably 40 – 50 feet?), she almost lost it.  She cried her eyes out, but it didn’t change the fact that if she wanted to get back on the ground she’d have to be lowered.  Eventually she found the courage to go through with it, which I thought would have made her realize it’s not all that bad, but I think it made things even worse – after they unhooked her from the rope she was lowered on she moved near the side of the platform and began to dry heave.  We still had a few more platforms to zip to, as well as the last platform from which you get lowered what could have been 100 feet or more down to the ground… she was not pleased.  After she was lowered from the last platform she ended up fainting, which was pretty crazy to see (never seen anyone pass out like that before).

As for me, I think I handled it well enough.  I held on for dear life the first few zips across, but by half-way through I was taking video as I zipped through the treeline.  I think as long as you don’t look down and don’t worry about all the bad things that could happen, it’s easy to get through.

Oh, incidently, they call it Flight of the Gibbon because of all the Gibbons (monkeys) in the area.  A portion of the proceeds from the business goes helping preserve the Gibbon population in the hills of Chiang Mai, which I thought was pretty neat.  Gibbons make really weird noises too – we could hear them all throughout the day while zip-lining, to which Sam would always say “the Gibbons… they must be hungry… better be careful!”.

After all the zip-lining was done, they crammed us all back into the van and took us back to base camp to enjoy a tasty Thai lunch that consisted of a spicy red curry, stir-fried veggies with chicken, and plain rice to pour the red curry on top of.  Mmm mmm good.  I ended up sitting with the Swedish couple and chatting with them over lunch - they told me they were on a few month sojourn through Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, as they had just finished up at school.

After lunch, they crammed us back in the van once again and took us to a 6 or 7 tier waterfall nearby.  It wasn’t anywhere near as majestic as Erawan was, but still pretty scenic none the less.  I guess everyone was pretty tired after zip-lining and lunch, because I was the only one of the 9 that hiked all the way to the top.  The Swedish guy kept up with me till around tier 5, but then turned back figuring he’d seen enough of the waterfalls.  When I got back down from the top, everyone was relaxing in a little pagoda where they were given a cool towel to wipe themselves down with, and a glass cold lemon tea with liquid sugar in it.  Refreshing.

By the time they got us back into Chiang Mai and dropped me off at my guesthouse, it was around dinner time.  I walked into the Old City (part of Chiang Mai inside the moat) in search of a restaurant I had read about in Wikitravel that apparently did great northern Thai food, but could not find it.  Instead I settled for a very dirty and run down little food shop where “real Thais” looked to be eating their 20 baht (less than $1 CDN) dinners.  I opted for the Khao Soi – a bunch of egg noodles in a brown-curry broth, topped with crispy fried noodles and slow-cooked chicken drumstick.  The meat just fell right off the bone – it was to die for.  I think I still rate Pad Thai and curries above Khao Soi, but it’s definitely one of my favourite Thai dishes.

After dinner I wandered along Loi Kroh Road in search of something to do.  I didn’t want to end up at the night market again, and I didn’t want to make a 3rd night of Number One bar else I’d start to feel like too much of a barfly.  I ended up at the Chiang Mai Entertainment Complex (a bunch of open air bars surrounding a Thai boxing ring), but was disappointed to find out that there’d be no boxing that night.  However, I was surprised to bump into the Swedish couple at one of the bars there, so we decided to make a night of it on the town.

The guy was named Mattias, and the girl’s name I can’t remember (which makes me feel like a bit of a jerk), but both of them seemed like pretty nice people.  We had a few drinks at the Chiang Mai Entertainment Complex and then wandered off towards the night market, though not to do any shopping.  Right in the epicentre of the night market is a Burger King, and since that Khao Soi wasn’t the most filling dinner I decided to get a small burger and a vanilla milkshake, and the Swedish couple got sundaes.  In hindsight, it was weird to go for ice cream after drinking beer, but I didn’t really think about it at the time.  I suppose what’s even more weird is that, after eating at Burger King, we ended up walking back to the Chiang Mai Entertainment Complex to the same bar we were at earlier to play some pool and have some more beers.

I taught the Swedish couple how to play Killer – a pretty good pool game if you’ve got 3 people looking to play.  We all only had one more beer each, and I could tell the Swedish girl was starting to get sleepy.  Sure enough, after the game of pool and our beers the girl started to yawn, and the Swedish couple decided to call it a night.  I was just getting warmed up though, so I ended up playing the bar owner’s wife (a Thai lady) in a game of pool and received a serious ass kicking (side note – she had literally kicked my ass earlier for stealing the Swedish couple to go to Burger King instead of staying for more beers, though it was all in jest).

After the game I moved to a bar stool and ended up talking to the bar owner’s wife about Thailand, Chiang Mai, tourists, Isaan, etc.  She introduced me to two more of her customers, an English couple who looked to be in their mid-to-late 40′s, Jane and Doug.  Turns out Doug worked for the British government in embassies and High Commissions around the world and had just finished up a two year stint in Bangladesh.  They were vacationing in Thailand before heading back to the UK to see if it would be suitable as a place to retire, as most of their family and friends now lived in South-East Asia and Australia.  Jane and Doug were really nice people and a pleasure to talk (and drink) with, my only criticism being that Doug kept on reminding me that Canada is part of the Commonwealth, and his Queen was in fact our Queen too.  I thought it best to keep it to myself that, to my knowledge, not many Canadians really give the Queen of England a second thought.

Jane and Doug also introduced me to Michel, the Belgian owner of the bar and husband of the Thai lady who trounced me so viciously in pool.  He was a pretty quiet gentleman, until Doug and I started talking about beers.  Quickly his knowledge of Belgian and German beers sprang forth, and if it hadn’t been for all the beers I had drank that night I probably would have remembered a thing or two about what he told us.

Around 1:00a.m. the English couple decided to call it a night, and I figured I should do likewise.  To dodge any would-be assailants (including ladyboys), I ended up grabbing a tuk-tuk back to the guesthouse.  The next day was full of responsibility – including eating too much, lazing by the pool, and watching TV in bed – so I figured a good night’s sleep was in order.

Good Things Come in Twos

“…while our economy may be weakened and our confidence shaken; though we are living through difficult and uncertain times, tonight I want every American to know this:

We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before.”

- Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States

 

Well, I can see why that Obama guy got elected - what a great speaker.  I woke up to my first full day in Chiang Mai, and instead of running out and doing everything I possibly could (as I had been doing almost every other day of my trip), I decided to lounge in bed and watch some TV.  After a half hour of depressing financial news on Bloomberg TV, they cut to Barack Obama and his address to the joint session of Congress and I ended up watching about half of it before my grumbling stomach got its way and sent me in search of food.

I headed out for a Thai breakfast – rice soup with chicken and, thanks to my lunacy, too many drid chilis for my own good (I was sweating bullets by the time I finished the soup, even with the watermelon smoothie I had ordered).  When I returned to the room, Bobby Jindal (a.k.a. “Turdburglar”; sorry Republicans, but I just didn’t find him very convincing!) was giving his rebuttal speech from the Louisiana Governer’s mansion.

After losing the morning to laziness, I figured why do anything worthwhile with the afternoon?  On went the bathing suit and down to the pool I went.  I had lost my sunscreen at Suvarabhumi airport and hadn’t had a chance to replace it, so I took my chances in the sun.  I think I burnt my stomach and neck a bit, but nothing that would cause me any serious problems – a sunburn is always a pain in the butt (especially when on vacation) in my opinion.

After getting some sun down by the pool I spoke with the tour guide who had a little shop in the guesthouse I was staying at – for about $70 CDN I had bought myself a ticket to Flight of the Gibbons, a 2km zip-lining adventure through Thailand’s rainforest canopy, for the following day.  Exciting!

I also got a hold of my American friend Kelly, and we figured out a plan for a late dinner.  She ended up picking me up (her company provided her a car in Chiang Mai – sweet deal!) with her friend, also named Kelly, and drove us to an Irish Pub located right beside the Chiang Mai night market.

Wait a tick – Michael and Michael, the Brits, in Phnom Penh.  Matt and Matt, the Americans, in Khon Kaen.  Now it was Kelly and Kelly, also Americans, in Chiang Mai.  Something fishing was going on in South-East Asia…

Dismissing my insane paranoia, I proceeded to have an enjoyable dinner with Kelly and Kelly.  I hadn’t had much farang food on my trip, so it was nice to have a big juicy burger and fresh-cut fries.  Mmm mmm.

Later, (orginal) Kelly’s roommate Brooke also made an appearance at the Irish Pub, and I chatted with all the girls about what they did and how they ended up in Chiang Mai.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I have such a good job with the government, I think I’d seriously consider doing some work over there myself.

After dinner the girls decided to call it a night, so I once again set out in search of deals in the Chiang Mai night market, and once again went home empty handed.  I was beginning to lose faith in Thailand’s markets – everything looked to be same-same, or same-same but different.  Kelly said she would go shopping with me at least one of the nights I was in Chiang Mai though, so I held out some hope that maybe she could help me find a few more original goods at rock-bottom prices.

On the walk home I popped into Number One bar once again for a Leffe and a Chang beer.  What can I say – I’m a creature of habit.  The waitress who had been there the day before, Ying, was there once again so we chatted it up for awhile – basically more stories about Isaan, the impoverished north-eastern province of Thailand.  I headed home fairly early again, and popped into an Internet cafe to work on the blog and send some emails before heading home for the night.  I’d certainly need my sleep for a day of zip-lining through the trees!

Running Late

“As a young boy, when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school you wonder if you should go home and change but be late for school, or go to school the way you are; dirty and soaking wet.

Well, while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.”

- Jack Handy

 

Big lesson leared on the day I was to fly out to Chiang Mai – don’t be late for your flight.  It’s a serious pain in the arse.

I had a flight booked to Chiang Mai with AirAsia in the early afternoon, which I figured wouldn’t cause me any problems, so I had lunch at Subway on Sukhumvit Road before catching a cab to Suvarnabhumi (pronounced “Suh-wanna-boom” by the Thais) airport.  This proved to be my first mistake, as a cab ride from mid-town Bangkok to the airport at mid-day takes longer than 25 minutes… more like 45 minutes.  It’s not that cheap either – 500 baht.

Arriving later than planned, I still had about 50 – 60 minutes before my flight time so I figured I was in good shape.  This was my second mistake, as I hadn’t factored in the 35 minute wait in line just to get my boarding pass (all the times I had been at the airport prior to this I had received my boarding pass in 15 minutes or less).  I flagged down airport staff a few times to ask if I should try to go to the front of the line since my flight was departing so soon, but they said not to worry and to stay where I was in the queue.

When I finally made my way to the AirAsia domestic flights booth, I only had about 30 minutes till my flight departed.  The AirAsia employee informed me that it was too late to check my baggage - good thing I was travelling light, as they allowed me to take both my bags (big backpack and duffle bag) as carry-on.  The downside to this is that they confiscated my toothpaste and sunscreen, as both were liquid containers too large to be allowed as carry-on.  Stupid airport rules – like I’m going to blow up a plane with a tube of toothpaste and a bottle of sunscreen.

I had about 10 – 15 minutes left before departure after Thai customs had manhandled my bags, so I had to run with 20 – 30 lbs of crap on my shoulders to my departure gate or miss my flight.  I now know what it must feel like moments before you have a heart attack. 

Luckily for me, I made it to the gate and was the second last person to board the plane.  A little bit sweaty, but a quite a bit flustered and frustrated, I took my seat and pulled my hat down over my eyes, hoping that people would get the point and leave me alone.  The flight to Chiang Mai was a quick one (only about an hour and a half), and by the time we landed I had gotten over the hassles and the airport (I realized that I was more mad at myself for not having given myself enough time than for all the crud that happened at the airport).

Not having to wait for my baggage to be unloaded from the plane meant allowed me to get out of the airport in record time.  I had forgotten that the guesthouse I was staying at had arranged for a free pick-up at the Chiang Mai airport, so I was pretty surprised when I saw a smiling Thai fellow holding up a “Gregory Vandette” sign.  While driving to the guesthouse, he told me his name was Lang (perhaps his nickname?  Thais always seem to have shorter names that are easier for us farangs to pronounce), and pointed out a few of the Chiang Mai sights on our short drive to the guesthouse.

The guesthouse proved to be of decent value.  Probably a little more than I’d have to pay in Chiang Mai ($25 CDN / night), but my room at A/C and the guesthouse had a pool, not to mention the location (between the old city and Loi Kroh Road).  By the time I was all checked in it was getting pretty dark out, so I decided to take a quick walk down Loi Kroh Road and try to find the night market.

I didn’t buy anything at the night market on the first night, but I’m pretty sure I inspected almost every vendors’ stall that night, so at least I knew where to go to get what I wanted.  I also knew I’d have to find another bag (or suitcase), as my duffle bag and small backpack were already full with everything I had brought over with me from Canada.  Things to worry about another day though, as I had four days to kill in Chiang Mai, and shopping could be left for the last day.

On my way back to the guesthouse I popped down a side street to check out a bar called “Number 1 Bar”.  I hoped that if it was making claims to be the number one bar in Chiang Mai it would be a decent place – I wasn’t disappointed.  The staff proved to be very friendly (even taught me some Thai words), and they had Leffe beer on tap which was a very nice treat after drinking Thai and Cambodian beers for the past 3 weeks.

I decided to go to bed pretty early that night (before midnight), probably because of all the running around and stressing out I did at the aiport, and working the Chiang Mai night market is no small task either.  But on the way back to my guesthouse I saw an Internet Cafe, so I popped in and did some work on the blog as well as checking my mail to get Kelly the American’s phone number – she was one of the people I had met in Cambodia but was living in Chiang Mai and actually spoke Thai.  I figured it’d be good times to see her again, and hoped she could help me see the sights in Chiang Mai (or possibly help me bargain at the night market with her Thai language skills!).

Change of Plans

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

- John Lennon

So I was supposed to go back up to Udon Thani after three wonderfully lazy days in Khon Kaen.  There I would spend the night, and the next day I’d travel into Laos to check out its capital, Vietiane, for the day.  However, while I was in Khon Kaen I decided to make a change to the plans… from my previous experiences on the trip, I had learned that only giving a day or two to any major city seemed to be an effort in futility.

Looking back now, I’m kind of sad I cut Laos from my trip.  Its said to be the forgotten South-East Asian country, though what little information I did have on Laos made it sound like a very relaxing place to visit.  The problem was, after three days in Kanchanaburi and three days in Khon Kaen, I was looking for anything but relaxing.

I ended up hopping a VIP bus to Bangkok from Khon Kaen which was supposed to take 6 hours and cost me around 350 baht ($13 CDN).  Another tip for any of you would be travellers – don’t trust estimated travel times for any road-based form of transportation in South-East Asia.  The trip ended up taking about 7.5 hours, though on the plus side the VIP bus was very luxurious.  I was given a tasty rice & chicken lunch, snacks, drinks, and the chairs even had built-in massage functions.  I did have to endure about 4 hours of movies in Thai though, which were a bit hard to follow.

By the time I rolled into Bangkok it was 9:00p.m. or later.  The bus stopped at Mo Chit, the northern-most point on the BTS and subway lines and also the location of the northern bus terminal.  From there it was a short cab ride (through a ridiculous amount of traffic – d’oh) to the BTS station where I caught a train into the centre of Bangkok where my hotel was located.

I ended up staying in the same area where Mike and I stayed while we were in Bangkok last April – not because I’m incredibly fond of that part of town, but more because I didn’t want to be wandering around unfamiliar areas of Bangkok at 10:00p.m. – 11:00p.m. at night.  I checked into my guesthouse - really just a couple of rooms above an Indian tailor shop along the main road – and then hit the streets of Bangkok in search of a very late dinner.  Not in the mood to have to look very hard for food I figured I’d just head on over to Gullivers, a bar / pub that Mike and I visited a few times on our last trip, to grab some onion rings and watch Manchester and Liverpool play to a 1-1 stalemate.  Some Brits at the table beside me were going nuts – everyone but North Americans really seem to love their Football.

The next day in Bangkok was a pretty busy one.  I basically went on a reconnaissence mission in search of all the goodies I’d buy when I passed through Bangkok again after my trip up to Chiang Mai.  I checked out the big Bangkok shopping centres (CentralWorld and Siam Paragon) where the most glamorous and luxurious goods were on sale (and quite a bit out of my price range!), as well as making my way over to the MBK shopping centre where all the cheap-o and knock-off goods are sold (definitely in my price range!).

I was somewhat disappointed that I didn’t find much to tickle my fancy… or at least not as many things as I found the last time I was in Thailand.  However, I did come across an absolutely hideous shirt that I had to pick up for Grant - when you see this shirt Grant, I’m sure you’ll agree it was worth all $7 CDN I paid for it.

That night I made it out to a movie theatre to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which I thought was a decent movie but not really a contender for the Oscars.  Mike had told me about seeing a movie in Bangkok when he was there by himself last year, and had mentioned Emperor-class seating where you get a huge lazyboy-like recliner and something along the lines of a steak appetizer while you watch the movie.  Unfortunately the theatre I was at didn’t have Emperor seating, so I may have to check around at other theatres next time and perhaps catch another movie, like The Wrestler.

That night I made yet another trip to Gullivers (sorry Mike, I didn’t spot our mutual friend on either nights that I was there) to have a few beers and ended up chatting up some French guys, Francis and his friend who’s name I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.  They ended up inviting me to come along with them to Nana Plaza, the naughty nightlife entertainment complex a few blocks away from Gullivers, but I declined under the pretense that I had drank too much that night and headed back to the hotel to relax in front of the TV.  I think I got about 10 minutes into Bee Movie before passing out.

Sleep was definitely required after hoofing it around the shopping malls all day, and besides, I had a mid-day flight out to Chiang Mai the next day.

What’s In A Name?

“What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

- William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet)

 

Argh.  Struggling to keep my eyes open right now… it’s only 4:20 in the afternoon here in Chiang Mai, but I’m super sleepy from lounging around the pool, walking around town, and stuffing my face with Thai food all day.  But I figured I’d try to write a quick post to sum up the 2nd and 3rd days I spent in Khon Kaen, as I’ve gotten pretty behind on this blog.

Day two in Khon Kaen can be summed up pretty easily – uneventful.  I woke up late, had a buffet breakfast and made my way down to the pool for to relax under the hot sun.  After finishing up by the pool my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check out my hotel spa & fitness facility - turns out they had a pretty decent gym, a sauna and a jacuzzi.

I ended up spending an hour in the gym and being the fool that I am I figured, even though I haven’t been to the gym regularly since November, I could lift just as much weight now as I could back then.  Fortunately I didn’t throw out my back, but I did strain my right leg and knee.  My reward for my foolishness would be a limp for the rest of the day, though I think I recovered so quickly thanks to the hotels’ sauna and jacuzzi.  After the workout I spent another two hours alternating between the sauna and jacuzzi and was left feeling like a tenderized piece of meat.

As I had promised Ning and Rak I’d make another appearance at Eric’s Bar, I made my way over there for dinner.  Pad Thai was on the menu yet again, and I think I’ve become completely addicted to the stuff (especially when you sprinkle hot chilis all over it… mmm!).  After more chit-chat I learned that the bar owner was Ning’s aunt who had married a farang (foreigner) who had opened a bar in Khon Kaen.  Ning’s aunt and her farang husband had a young boy named Eric whom the bar was named after.

I also found out that Thais tend to shorten their names or come up with nicknames that are easier for us farangs to remember – Ice, Ying, Ning, Mai, Rak, etc.  It turned out that Ning’s Thai name was Sandiam, Rak’s Thai name was Sirilak, and there was another girl working nicknamed Jome but who’s Thai name was Fuglidee (so, in her case, I suppose I can see the need for a nickname… yikes!).

I decided to make it an early evening that night, as I was actually in the mood to curl up with a soda and a bag of funky Asian-flavoured chips while chilling out in front of the TV.  Ning told me to come by again the next day as she finished work at 5:00p.m., which I agreed to.  On my way back towards my hotel I bumped into Matt and Matt again (Khon Kaen, especially the touristy area, is very very small).  Apparently they were looking for an elephant to take a picture of, as elephants can often be found throughout the streets of Thai cities.  Seeing as how I’d already had dinner and I wasn’t in the mood to go on an elephant hunt with a bum leg, I told them goodnight but we agreed to try to meet up again the following day for dinner.

The next day I did the buffet breakfast, swimming pool, gym, sauna and jacuzzi routine once more, this time being a little more realistic at the gym to avoid any further injuries.  In the afternoon I decided to try to find the lake in southern Khon Kaen on my own, but after wandering the streets for about an hour or two I gave up and made my way back to the hotel.  I had a quick power nap until the late afternoon, and then headed back to Eric’s Bar to make good on my word to visit one last time.

I showed up near the end of Ning’s shift and had a beer to kill the time.  Ning asked if I had visited the lake during the day, but I told her I got lost trying to find it which she (and I’m guessing the rest of the Thais working at Eric’s) found pretty amusing.  She offered to take me down to the lake after her shift was over, which I though was really cool of her.  Right around that time, Matt and Matt showed up once again and it turns out they too had tried to find the lake during the day and also got lost.  More laughter from the Thais.

Our evening’s plans were quickly settled – Ning, one of her co-workers and their mutual friend (neither of who’s names I can remember) would take both Matts and myself down for a tour of the lake.  The Matts and me grabbed a tuk-tuk and the girls followed on their motorbikes.  When we got down to the lake, I realized that I had been about two minutes away from it when I had tried to find it earlier in the day… I guess I gave up just a bit too early.

Ning and the other girls all made their way over to the vendors in the park to get some sort of dessert that they wanted us to try.  It was sort of like a snow cone (crushed ice with flavoured food colouring), covered in condensed milk – very tasty.  Ning and I shared one, but as I was scooping out another mouthful sweet icy deliciousness I noticed something that seemed really out of place – a piece of corn.  I figured that the vendor must have been munching on some corn for dinner and it had fallen in our dessert – gross!  But when I pointed it out to Ning, she laughed and told me that it was supposed to be in there.  Also hidden in the dessert were big, flavourless jellies.  Corn and jellies… together at last.  I let Ning finish the rest of the dessert.

Afterwards, the girls bought a whole bunch of bread and what looked to be dog food / kibble.  I wasn’t ready to eat any of the kibble, but I figured I’d eat the bread if that’s what Thais liked for dinner down by the park.  When I reached for a piece of bread Ning said “no no no!”, and led me and the Matts down to a rickety old dock on the river that was covered with pigeons.  We pushed past the pigeons to the edge of the dock where Ning started feeding the fish.  Huge fish.  Huge CATFISH.  They were mammoth, and hopefully my pictures will turn out so I can prove it.

Once we ran out of food for the fish (some of the bread ended up being fed to the pigeons to keep them away from us, as they had no fear of people whatsoever) we walked along the park path where some local Thais had set up their little shops.  I didn’t see anything I really wanted to buy, and neither did anyone else, so we just kept on walking along the path until the we came across some trees with berries that the girls picked and forced us to eat.  The Matts made me go first, and I explained to them that it tasted like a ”sandy-grape-pomegranate”, even though I didn’t really know what a pomegranate tastes like.  They gave me a weird look and tried the berries anyway.

Later the girls saw a vendor renting bicycles for 20 baht (a little under $1 CDN) an hour and wanted to go biking through the park.  Since the girls had bought us the corn-jelly dessert and picked sandy-grape-pomegranates for us, the Matts and I figured it would be nice if we paid for the bike rentals.

Now these weren’t just your run of the mill bike - oh no.  They were tandem two-person bikes, and were bright pink to boot.   Ning and I shared one bike, Young Matt and the Eric’s Bar co-worker shared another, and Old Matt and Ning’s friend did end up getting their own bikes since no tandem ones were left – but both of their bikes were pink as well (Old Matt even had a little girl basket with a teddy bear attached to it on the front of his bike; hilarious!).

We biked around the lake for an hour and had a pretty good time.  One of the funniest things that happened was Ning and I took off pretty quick and shouted “race!”, so Young Matt took off as quickly as he could as well.  Once we stopped (about 5 minutes later), we all noticed that Young Matt was on his tandem bike by himself.  Apparently he hadn’t noticed that the co-worker from Eric’s Bar hadn’t gotten all the way on the bike before he took off and she was left behind.  This was confirmed seconds later when Ning’s cell phone rang – she started cracking up and pointing down the path to someone running towards us and waving their arms wildly (the co-worker).  We all got a laugh out of that.

Around the half-way point we stopped – I was sweating like mad.  It was less hot down by the lake at night, but still pretty humid.  The girls ran off once more and came back with bottles of water for everyone – so nice!  We finished up the bike ride just as it started to get really dark, and headed back towards where the girls had parked their motorbikes.  Just before we got there we noticed a huge bunch of Thais doing callistenics in an outdoor amphitheatre on the water front, so I snagged a few pictures of that too.

By this time the Matts and I were starving, but the girls declined our offer to come out to dinner on us.  They said they had to get home (only about 8:30p.m. or so?), so we thanked them for the lake tour and I said my goodbyes to Ning who was so nice to me for the short time I was in Khon Kaen.  The Matts and I jumped into a tuk-tuk and made our way back to the hotels to find ourselves some dinner.

One the way back / during dinner we discussed the evening and realized that Ning’s friend hadn’t said much and had hung back the entire time while Ning and the co-worker from Eric’s Bar had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure we were having a good time.  We came to the conclusion that she must have been the chaperone for our little lake trip, as I think “good Thai girls” don’t go off with strange farangs in the night (the ones who do are usually the ones working the sex trade).  That also explained why they may not have came for dinner – they never said they didn’t want to, but that they couldn’t.  I thought it was a pretty charming touch… Thailand is such a strange place where you can find men dressed like women and dodgy massage parlours, yet (good) women still have chaperones when they go out on dates (even if its just a platonic thing).  It could also have been that Khon Kaen is in the sleepy north, where the Thais may be a bit more traditional than those living in Bangkok.

Once back at the hotels, the Matts told me they wanted to check out an all-you-can-eat dim sum Chinese restaurant that was in my hotel.  We made our way over to the Chinese restaurant only to find out the all-you-can-eat dim sum deal was only a lunch thing (boo), but decided to eat there anyway.  We ordered some fried noodles Hong Kong style, some fried rice, and a whole bunch of dim sum / dumplings.  Young Matt was a bit of a dim sum expert, so we put our trust in him.  Dinner was spectacular, and I think I might be addicted to dumplings and pork-filled softbreads now.  Mmm.

After dinner the Matts and I finally ran into an elephant, so Old Matt bought some sugar cane to feed it and was nice enough to give me a piece to feed to the elephant as well.  I was shocked how nimble they are with their trunks! Afterwards we headed back to their hotel – the Pullman had a basement filled with bars and restaurants dubbed “The Underground”.  The main bar in The Underground was a brew pub where they did their own light and dark lager, and I figured I had to try both before leaving Khon Kaen.  The dark proved to be a bit too heavy for me after all those dumplings, so I went with the lighter lager.  I also observed that they had an all-you-can-drink happy hour from 5:00p.m. until 8:00p.m. for around $10 CDN – good thing I was leaving the next day so I couldn’t take advantage of that deal!

The Matts didn’t stick around long, so I wished them well on the rest of their sales trip.  I finished my beer while enjoying a Thai band sing a bunch of classic songs in English and chuckled a little bit because it reminded me of that movie A Christmas Story when the family goes to the Chinese restaurant for dinner (“Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra”).  Though to be honest, the band was actually really good.  After that I had to pass Eric’s Bar on my way back to my hotel, so I popped in and said goodbye to Rak, since she had been a ton of fun while I was there too.

The next morning I’d have yet another buffet breakfast before hitting the gym and sauna, but after that it was time to checkout.  Originally I was supposed to go back up to Udon Thani for a day and then into Laos to visit the capital, Vietiane.  I had decided to abort that plan however, as one day really wasn’t enough time to see anything in Laos, and I’d probably be in a mad rush the whole time which would just leave me frustrated.  Plus, north-eastern Thailand was proving to be a little bit too sleepy for me… more on changing plans in the next post.

Khon Kaen was RAD

“I don’t like jail; they got the wrong kind of bars in there.”

- Charles Bukowski

 

Going to try to make this one a quickie – just want to cover my first night in Khon Kaen.  As mentioned in a previous post, I didn’t get into town until around 10:00 – 11:00 at night and decided I’d go for a quick walk around the block to check out some of the bars and restaurants nearby.

The bar I ended up settling on was called Eric’s Bar, and it was nestled between two of the upscale hotels in Khon Kaen (the Charoen Thani Princess, where I was staying, also being one of the more upscale hotels in that area and just around the corner from Eric’s Bar).  It was an open-air style bar with a lot of fans on high speed due to the fact that it was brutally hot in Khon Kaen despite it being night time (even the Thais were complaining about the heat, so I suspect it was a heatwave hitting central and northern Thailand).

I grabbed a beer and ordered some Pad Thai at the bar – it was like Don’s Four Nine Bar where they didn’t make their own food at the bar, but brought it over from a restaurant next door.  Pretty good Pad Thai I must say, but not as good as the guesthouse beside the Four Nine in Kanchanaburi.  One of the waitresses, a very pretty girl with a great smile by the name of Ning, came over and started asking me all the standard farang questions (“what’s your name?”, “where you from?”, “how long you stay?”, “you like Thailand?”, etc.).  Ning was pretty nice and procured a map of Khon Kaen for me to point out the one or two tourist attractions I could see while I was in town – a lake and a big temple.  That about sums up sleepy Khon Kaen.

Ning went back to working behind the bar, and I overheard some guys who were either American or English chatting behind me.  I figured I’d do the old “hey, it’s my first night here – can you give me any advice?” schtick that had worked so well for me up until then.  I ended up meeting Matt and Matt (Michael and Michael in Phnom Penh, and now Matt and Matt in Khon Kaen?  Weird…).  Young Matt (26 years old) was from Philidelphia, while Old Matt (37) was from Maryland, and both were in Khon Kaen on work.  Interestingly enough they both worked for Raytheon, where Young Matt was the salesman and Old Matt was the engineer to explain the products Raytheon was selling.

They were both good guys, Young Matt reminding me of a slim Jason Biggs from American Pie and Old Matt reminding me of an older Christian Bale.  Conversation was basically around the same topics I’ve talked to everyone else I’ve met on this trip – politics, religion, culture, world financial crisis, etc.  After a few rounds at Eric’s Bar, we headed over to an entertainment complex known simply as RAD.

RAD had a dance club, a pub-like bar, and an adult entertainment area (yes, a nudie bar).  Both Matts were married (Old Matt also having a 3-year old son he was telling me about), so I doubted either would want to indulge in any adult entertainment… but Young Matt seemed to be pretty gung-ho about it.  We only lasted for a round or two of (expensive) beers before Old Matt mentioned they had a big meeting early the next morning, which was good enough to persuade Young Matt to say goodnight to his new-found girlie friend and head home for the night.  I walked with them back to their hotel (the Pullman Hotel, which is the fanciest hotel in Khon Kaen… lucky for them, Raytheon was picking up the tab) and said goodnight, but mentioned we should grab dinner or drinks again before I had to leave town.

I didn’t feel all that tired after all the sleeping I did on the bus to Bangkok, the plane to Udon Thani, and the bus down to Khon Kaen, so I popped back into Eric’s Bar with about an hour before close.  I talked to Ning a lot more, as well as Rak (who also went by the name “Lucky”, according to Young Matt, but for what reason it was never explained).  She was another waitress at Eric’s who was pretty funny and was obsessed with punching me in the fist like we were both gangstas or something.  No one was really left at the bar and I was finishing up my last beer when they started to close up shop… so I figured I’d be a nice guy and help them close by pulling in the chairs & tables.  They got a pretty good kick out of that – I guess they don’t see too many farangs doing any work in Thailand!

I told Ning and Rak I’d make another appearance the next day, seeing as how I figured I’d have little to do in Khon Kaen for the next two days…